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To date the post that consistently attracts visits to our blog is the Lessons Learned from 50 Shades of Grey post, which has absolutely nothing to do with “50 shades of grey lessons for men,” but since it’s Movember and we’re raising awareness for men’s health and all, we thought we’d end the month with a bang (figuratively, people), and give the people what they want!
At first what I came up with was intentionally glib. I was going to talk about how if you didn’t learn that you have to be young, hot, rich, and super freaky, then you were pretty much hopeless, but then after reading a post on Dr. Oz’s blog that was more sincere I thought better of the situation. As far as Fifty Shades of Grey is concerned, I only made it through book one, and I may never read 2 or 3 because book 1 wasn’t my cup of tea, but based on book one, and as a woman, these are three things I walked away with and are simple concepts I would want my boyfriend/husband/significant other to be conscious of practicing. The reason I say for men and women is because relationships go both ways. So without further ado, here are three universal lessons I pulled from Fifty Shades of Grey. And don’t worry they’re pretty tame considering the content of the book, but that’s the magic of Fifty Shades of Grey. The explicit sexual scenes are just candy for the age-old love story we’ve all heard a million times. We don’t think the lessons from Fifty Shades of Grey are really any different from the lesson of any other romantic story, but we’d love to know your thoughts on the issue, so feel free to leave them in the comments below.
Lesson #1: We all like to feel like we’re wanted (both women and men).
Knowing that we’re wanted is an intoxicating feeling. Hunter Hayes sings about it in his song appropriately titled “Wanted”. Christian and Anna want each other, and they communicate it both verbally and non-verbally to one another. Christian flips his top when Anna bites her lip, and Anna is willing to do what Christian wants to have him stay in her life. So there it is. Make people feel wanted, without being creepy, mind you, but for people who are stuck in a rut in their relationships, make your significant other feel wanted without asking for anything in return, it goes a long way.
Lesson #2: Everyone loves a good fairytale, and most of us live in reality, but it sure would be nice if you tried to err on the side of fantasy every once in a while.
Fairytales give us hope. It doesn’t mean that we actually think that all of our fantasies are going to come true. We know it’s not likely we’re not going to end up with someone who looks like Christian Grey and is a 27 year old bajillionaire. It’s like that $550 million Powerball ticket you all know you bought. Odds were completely stacked against you, but how fun was it to dream for a couple of days about what it would be like if you won? So what if we want to dream about winning the lottery every once in a while, when the stark reality is all that money wouldn’t make us any happier than what we are right here and right now. But, it’s still fun to think about. Most of us live in reality, so it’s pleasantly refreshing when someone is willing to try a few things that dip into the world of fantasy without getting too crazy! Or at least going to the threshold of fantasy that both parties are comfortable with; hence the need for a contract in the first book.
Lesson #3: Men are visual, and women respond better to the written word because our imaginations take over. (Simple, but very powerful if you think about communication, transmission and reception of a message, and taking into account noise and other technical aspects.)
Without getting too explicit, and interpret this in whatever context you must to make it relevant to your situation, because you can make this lesson as innocent or naughty as you want, but guys how about you leave your lady a note every once in a while? And if you include something about how you performed some mundane task that she dislikes doing for her (laundry, vacuuming, dishes, etc.) I bet you get brownie points. And ladies don’t underestimate the power of a photo or a video. Here’s an example from a recent Samsung Galaxy III commercial to illustrate this very point that makes me laugh every time.
So there they are, my friends, the big lessons I pulled from Fifty Shades of Grey that actually have something to do with the content of the novel. Take them or leave them, and if you choose to leave them, feel free to write your own fantasy romance novel about your perfect mate. Then when you’re done, and being mindful of our terms of service, you should publish it on Kbuuk. Then one day we’ll be writing about the lessons we all learned from your exploratory tour de force.